Jenna Meyer
I was always good @ telling the truth   but they were always better liars
les sigh
The bathroom stall at the seveneleven is the pulpit for Satan at his finest
If Satan was a yellow journalist.
les sigh
MUCKRACKER!!! Oh  em  gee
les sigh
Ever go into a stall that is double hinged? 
No matter how you go about it, you get your ass slapped    unless you crawl under
But then god only knows what might happen to your ass
les sigh
There was this girl in high school 
She wished she were an inner city black lesbian who had a rare disease
Because who takes posh WASPS for serious anymore?
les sigh
	she moaned between her bouts of self pleasure
	she derived a theory that the ahpittoeme of one’s creative flow is reached only at 	the pinnacle of time spent orgasming
This has not been scientifically proven
But there is nothing stopping you
(internal cock block)
les sigh
This girl burned every Jane Austen thing she could get her hands on
And cried the day Ms. Butler died (what an everyday mundane tragedy spun into a humorously ironic bitch slap…but that tends to happen…crickey!)
les sigh
The truth is worth it’s weight in gold   but it sucks that lies are diamond encrusted
I came only equipped with cubic zirconium …
						And actually, it’s polished glass….
	I’m way better at telling the truth
les sigh
But it’s rumored* that she was in an alley
Scrunched over    legs spread   cunt exposed
Ready to ram that rusty, gnarled wire hanger up into her woman fold
When Jesus appeared in an oil spill 
Next to her
Next to the seveneleven dumpster
She stood up and got all “Mommie Dearest” on that hanger
The hanger did nothing
Poor hanger
Misconstrued for an unfulfilled purpose
Oh, the humanity
les sigh
								*we all know rumors are derived from the 											truth
And on the topic of Oh…
O (dash) Walt Whitman
So we meet again. (stern lookslashglare)
O my bane (dash) O my arch nemesis 
O co-conspirator with that blithering whore Miss Austen (dash)
O, Frankly Mr. Whitman (dash)
I just don’t     giveadamn

					I Never Did.
le sigh
And another rumor*
That girl had that baby and that baby had one hell of a cocaine addiction 
No one knew where it came from but everyone was oblivious to the lack there of
Of a nose and not just the nostril flares she had somehow managed to retain through her many blizzards.
les sigh
There are about 341 things she could have productively used that wire hanger for
1)	hanging a shirt
129) Mommy & Daddy will never know, inst-a-bortion
298) a Christmas candy wreath
But wire is not of the elemental realm of gold and diamonds  
it cannot remain immaculate    it cannot be shown off
No, it’s merely another domestic Oh-mahj to true oppression and enslavement of housewives who can never be feminists.

Gloria Steinem (dash) blow me.

I wonder if Jesus is still in that oil spill…

les sigh