lunch with the social worker's client #489b

Jenna Meyer
today was the day i decided to not be a jew
a rich jew
a well educated rich jew
today was the day i decided to not be black
a poor black
a ghetto street walking poor black
	
today i found myself.

today was the day i decided that murder was legal
legal in all 50 states
legal in all 50 states and including Puerto Rico
today was the day i decided that self mutilation is another form of extravagant self love
eclectic, extravagant self love
eccentric, eclectic, extravagant self love

today i found myself.

today was the day i decided to start carrying a gun
a very large gun
a well concealed very large gun
today was the day i decided to practice throwing knives at small children
orphaned small children
handicapped orphaned small children

today i found myself.

i've started to harpoon innocent puppies
shaved innocent puppies
starved and shaved innocent puppies
i've started to spill my toxins directly into your drinking water
your air and drinking water
your homes, your air, and drinking water

today i discovered love.

i've started to write manifestos promoting mass suicides
incest and mass suicides
systematic death, incest, and mass suicides
i've started to purge pain in the form of violence
hatred and violence
projecting, hatred, and violence

today i discovered love.

and tomorrow i will see no errors in my way
my true way
my only true way
and tomorrow i will not repent to any known god
any ridiculous known god
any idiotically ridiculous known god

tomorrow i will understand hope

but tonight i succumb to nightmares of my subconscious
the voices of my subconscious
the malice and voices of my subconscious
but tonight i will shake in fear of what actions i will do
the violence i will do
the unintended violence i will do

tomorrow i will not ask for help.