Nectar

Kelsey Amell
I'll never forget the time we met,
I touched your curves as you began to sweat.
Your color so graceful and radiating- depending on my level of self-defeat.
Glowing blonde, sparkling red, raven black.
Even clear- that's when I've really outdone myself-
you all blind my constant deceit.

With you, I am calm, free, awakened.
You've saved me from becoming foresaken.
You will never leave me, for you are my crutch.
Your ever present shoulder and ear mean so much.
While there is nothing to lose, how could there possibly be anything to miss?
So open-minded-
So clear-minded-
So free-minded-

So fucking BLINDED!
With you, I am stagnant.
Dirty.
Poor.
Tired.
Ugly.
Without you, I was once young, free, careless, innocent, beautiful and clean....
I am a loser, nothing but a numbed boozer.
I am a walking zombie, not what I used to be or what I know I am capable of.
With each last cent you are ridding me of my sense.  
With each drink, I lose my ability to think.

What have you done?
Silly me, I have forgotten who the conscious one is here.
Oooooh, Brew....how I love you
Though you are continuously turning my insides and brain to fucking stew.
But.....you love me.